Day 351

You couldn't put it off any more - it was time to visit the old estate.
It was where you'd grown up, among the noise and chaos you'd been at home.
Nowhere since had felt so right.
Your bones belonged here, where you could trace every year of your life by the graffiti.

Lin used to meet you by that shop corner before you'd walk together to school.
Those broken toilets were where everyone ended up at some point, generally smoking.
Mrs MacHennesy used to sit on that wall every day with a can of lager, yelling at her kids.
Over there Jay had been beaten half to death for getting involved in the wrong kind of business.

These were all as much a part of you as they were for everyone else.
It was all different now of course, the place had lost its vibrancy since you left for uni.
The shops were all different, all new but still coated with the same grime and graffiti.
The people were mostly the same only less like the had been, more like photos than humans.

Still you traced the old route you took through the estate for old time's sake.
Along the shops, past the park and over to the retirement home to see your nana one last time.
She'd been in there for as long as you remembered, always a pale, shrunken bundle of a woman.
It was more duty than affection that drove your actions.

As you approached the park you stopped to gaze nostalgically at its rust and grime.
Nothing had ever worked properly there, the swings were stiff, the slide had snapped when Jake
tried to go down it on his skateboard and instead of fixing it, the council had planked it shut.
It didn't stop kids from trying to break it of course, you could see the cracks in the wood.

Movement towards your right caught your eye as an old friend of yours walked over to you.
You couldn't remember his actual name, everyone had called him Skeevo for some reason.
He remembered you and seemed so much older now, hair greying and clothing fraying.
You mentioned that you were back here to see your nana in the old folk's place.

He looked terrified, face paler than you'd ever seen, he grabbed your arms and begged you to leave.
Nobody comes out, don't do it mate. Get out while you can, nobody leaves. NOBODY!
Before you could get him to calm down and explain he threw you aside and ran away.
Had he always been so twitchy?

Brushing yourself off and taking a few deep breaths you continued on to the retirement home.
As you went to cross the road opposite the playground you heard kids screaming behind you.
It was hard to hear what they were saying, all screaming at once you only caught a few words.
It sounded like a rhyme, one you'd heard when you were a kid but forgot all the words to.

You put it down to kids being kids, nothing had changed here really.
Not even the retirement home - still the same peeling red paint,still the same broken sign.
The staff there remembered you, treated you like family just as they always had.
When they took you to your nana's room however, there was nobody there.

The door slammed shut behind you and the lock clicked into place.
No amount of banging or screaming made them open the door for you.
Eventually when you were too tired to move one of the nurses entered (Camilla was it?).
She called you by your nana's name, settled you into her old wheelchair and pushed you outside.

She continued to talk to you as if you were your nana, told you how nice the weather was.
You were exhausted, tried to tell her that she'd gotten it all wrong and that wasn't your name.
Nurse Camilla let out a frustrated sigh and said we've been through this dear, your mind's going.
Pushing the chair towards a hallway mirror she helped you to stand.

When had it gotten so hard to move, you'd walked all the way here!
You screeched when you saw your nana's face staring at you in the reflective surface.
This drew the attention of a few other nurses who tried to calm you, why was breathing so hard now?
Its okay, you're fine. Look, your grandson's here to see you!