Judging by the state of the young lad who'd just burst in through the post office's door, he was new to the area. Took him all of five seconds to catch his breath before he began ranting and raving about things that looked like "bin bags with rotten legs sticking out of them, just leaping all over the place and spewing maggots everywhere" which was fairly accurate.
We call them Hoppers and they help fertilise the ground, its what makes our area the best for cabbages and a wide assortment of root vegetables. We tried to tell him this but he was having none of it, kept saying they were demons sent to devour our souls and we should flee immediately.
Our Dennis sat him down, gave him a shot of whisky to stead his nerves and explained it to him proper. He said "Look, its plain as rain you've never been this far out from London or whichever hustle and bustle you're from but down here we don't take to kindly to demonic accusations. Especially where our good neighbours are concerned."
The lad still looked paler than boiled cauliflower but didn't try to argue back, which was better than the last townie to head through our way. Dennis told him plain and straight that "Hoppers are about as vicious as potatoes with brains to match. Literally all they do is put back into the earth what is needed and its good for everybody. Now quit your fussing, have a drink and catch the next train back. You're clearly not ready for these parts."
He was a good lad, did just as our Dennis said and we haven't seen him since. It's a good thing he didn't ask where the Hoppers came from or we'd be obliged to demonstrate and missing persons paperwork takes ever such a long time, not to mention cleaning up afterwards.
We call them Hoppers and they help fertilise the ground, its what makes our area the best for cabbages and a wide assortment of root vegetables. We tried to tell him this but he was having none of it, kept saying they were demons sent to devour our souls and we should flee immediately.
Our Dennis sat him down, gave him a shot of whisky to stead his nerves and explained it to him proper. He said "Look, its plain as rain you've never been this far out from London or whichever hustle and bustle you're from but down here we don't take to kindly to demonic accusations. Especially where our good neighbours are concerned."
The lad still looked paler than boiled cauliflower but didn't try to argue back, which was better than the last townie to head through our way. Dennis told him plain and straight that "Hoppers are about as vicious as potatoes with brains to match. Literally all they do is put back into the earth what is needed and its good for everybody. Now quit your fussing, have a drink and catch the next train back. You're clearly not ready for these parts."
He was a good lad, did just as our Dennis said and we haven't seen him since. It's a good thing he didn't ask where the Hoppers came from or we'd be obliged to demonstrate and missing persons paperwork takes ever such a long time, not to mention cleaning up afterwards.
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