It's that time of year already, the Omens have started gathering outside coffee shops again and telling everyone their doomed futures whether they want to hear or not. Nothing wakes you up better than a bitter espresso and an even worse prediction.
They're a right nuisance but they bring in their fair share of tourists so the council let them stay.
The rest of us tend to carry our own precautions and set up warning signs where the Omens can't reach which proves to be just a little bit tricky due to their vaguely incorporeal nature.
I saw one of them sink into a man's shadow, use it to climb up his body and snatch the "Danger: Omens At Work" poster right out of his hands. At least it didn't go for his eyes or gouge out his eyes on the way down. It's a nasty way to go, what with their claws being coated in a coagulating venom that can turn every pint of blood in your body to jelly in about eight minutes.
I digress.
The Omens are back around practically every corner and the council's brilliant solution is to open up more coffee shops to thin them out. In theory it was a good idea, less Omens in one area means that the more vulnerable people can avoid them better but having every other shop become a coffee shop turns every street into a gauntlet of doom and gloom that generally comes to pass within a week or so.
It's a great time to be a mortician, that's for sure.
They're a right nuisance but they bring in their fair share of tourists so the council let them stay.
The rest of us tend to carry our own precautions and set up warning signs where the Omens can't reach which proves to be just a little bit tricky due to their vaguely incorporeal nature.
I saw one of them sink into a man's shadow, use it to climb up his body and snatch the "Danger: Omens At Work" poster right out of his hands. At least it didn't go for his eyes or gouge out his eyes on the way down. It's a nasty way to go, what with their claws being coated in a coagulating venom that can turn every pint of blood in your body to jelly in about eight minutes.
I digress.
The Omens are back around practically every corner and the council's brilliant solution is to open up more coffee shops to thin them out. In theory it was a good idea, less Omens in one area means that the more vulnerable people can avoid them better but having every other shop become a coffee shop turns every street into a gauntlet of doom and gloom that generally comes to pass within a week or so.
It's a great time to be a mortician, that's for sure.
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