20190424

Day 1,691

Nobody's as good at disposing of a corpse quite like a theatre technician. They're too used to moving and thinking inhumanly fast to make sure that the show goes on without so much as a blip. Think of the worst case scenario of any play and then imagine the skill it takes to cover that up.

I mean, the actress playing Juliet in the infamous classic last year actually stabbed herself after the director insisted on sharpening the wooden prop knife for "realism". Granted it wasn't a deep wound but the tech who had to play the nurse for the rest of the play had to stay in character while applying enough pressure on Juliet's wound so she didn't bleed out on stage.

That wasn't anywhere near as bad as the time that the older chap playing Scrooge had a fullon heart attack when the ghost of Christmas future came in before his queue. A tech had to hide in the back of his voluminous dressing gown and puppet him about until he could be switched out for the understudy.

Worse still is when a scene meant to kill a character actually kills the actor midway through a long scene and the rest of the cast have to pretend they assumed that he was just acting the whole while and he definitely got up and walked off stage at some point.

The halls beneath most theatres lead straight into the sewers and deeper still.

There are many places to hide a body, a failed actor, a bad employee and the technicians know them all.

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