20190902

Day 1,822

Nobody wanted to mention the elephant in the room... the partially decayed, odorous and surprisingly lively elephant that was their former boss/present boss/nobody knew how to fire a person who is technically dead but also not at the same time.

It had HR in a frenzy trying to figure out if he was still employable and if so, ca they reinstate his old employee profile? The system wasn't exactly designed to be reversed if someone was declared deceased and not two weeks later brought back along with everyone else in the world who'd died that month.

The rest of us just grinned and tried not to get too close. He might not be a classic zombie but he tended to lean a little close for our comfort and salivate at the smell of the raw meat his husband brought him for lunch. He says its pork but Janet in IT says she saw part of a tattoo on the "pork" belly while she was working on his temporary account.

The CEO is still trying to get him fired, doesn't like the hassle, the smell or the legal issues around rehiring dead employees but the union seems to be keen to keep zombies in their old jobs. At least until enough of them has rotted that they can retire early and... carry on rotting I guess?

Apparently the formula that brought them back was in our local water supply as a test run for a flu cure so chances are we'll all come back after we die. Some people have plans underway to sever and burn their heads so they stay down while others are psyched at not having to buy halloween costumes ever again.

As for me, I've got a theory to test and a list of douchebags just waiting to get bit.

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