20200916

Day 2,200

Tommy's been silent for the past three days but that's okay, you talk enough for two now. He doesn't eat anymore either but you've been eating for two for five months already, what's a few more now? It should be kicking already but the baby is as quiet as its father, you hope aloud that everything is alright and hope in your mind that you aren't bringing another life into the shitstorm you can barely survive in.

Tommy hasn't taken a breath since you both hid under that bridge in June, where you both hid beneath the water and tried to not seem alive until the dangers passed you by. You try not to think about it too much and assume that as he still has a pulse (or whatever he has pulsing in his chest) that he's alive and well... as well as anyone can be at least.

Tommy doesn't seem to blink anymore, just stares out at the world with his weird watery eyes that haven't looked quite the same since June. You wonder if he ever came back out of the water or if you've been travelling with a monster all this time - a kind monster, one that always offers you the larger share of food, the thicker blanket, the safer shelter - but a monster nonetheless.

You wonder if being a monster even matters anymore.

You wonder if that's what you're bringing into the world.

You wonder and wonder and wonder until Tommy holds your hand and smiles.

You smile back and move on,surviving another day.

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