I'm barely bones at this stage yet the rot insists there is still more of me to be taken before I can leave. I keep saying I don't know what it means but it isn't responding to me anymore. All it does is tell me there is more to go before I am free, there is more that I can lose, there is more that can rot.
I can see the blood pumping around my body when I have the strength to turn my head and look at the mirror that somebody left when they put makeup on me to "make me feel better". The rot sucked it into my skin and took it away just like it's been taking everything else.
Every day I get told it's a miracle that I'm so alive and that I'm so brave for not crying but the rot took my tears when it took my eye colour several months ago. I look like an unpainted doll, all fragile and lifeless and waiting for someone to put paint to porcelain to bring me alive.
I wonder what they'll find when they autopsy me. Will there even be anything left inside of me or will I be as hollow as a freshly made casket? Will the rot take my organs away before or after I die? I know it's getting impatient enough to chant at me to give the rest away but I still don't know what it means or how to give it.
Maybe if I look sad enough they'll help me slip into the endless sleep I've been hearing so much about.
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