Day 2,337

Reality flickered and you were back by the lake, arms outstretched and eyes full of unshed tears. The body was floating just out of arms reach as it always was and in that moment your were so utterly devastated that you fled like you always did. As if you wouldn't end up there again.

A new name, a new haircut and jacket and a slight accent and you knew you'd still be back again some day. Maybe not soon, maybe thirty years even, but some day reality would flicker and you'd be back at the lake with your heart feeling like it's breaking and your lungs feeling so very heavy.

You were beginning to lose track of all the people you'd loved and lost, all the lives you'd lived in between the lake. You were beginning to wonder if running away was worth it but the uncertainty of acceptance was somehow scarier than starting life again for the umpteenth time.

Some day you'll find yourself staring at the body out on the lake and step towards it, gently turn them over and see your own face staring back at you. For now you'll pretend the water in your lungs is panic, the dampness on your clothes is sweat and the body out on the lake is someone else.

You'll run away like you always do.

You'll return like you always do.

You'll always be waiting for yourself.