At first we thought a bird had gotten trapped in the air vents and died but nobody could figure out how it could have found its way in there. You could certainly smell it whenever the air-con was switched on upstairs, that god-awful sickly sweet meaty stench that made the poor receptionist so nauseous that it's been almost a week and she still hasn't come back.
From the lobby you could see the very tips of its feet if you crouched and peered underneath the chairs. You can also see the shadow of something much bigger behind it - a nest was our first guess until someone had the great idea of shining a torch down there.
I still don't know what it was but it sure as hell wasn't a nest. I mean,for starters nests don't have teeth and grey gums and lips like shrivelled branches. Our best theory at that point was that some kind of nocturnal creature, maybe an inbred raccoon, had chased a bird into the vents, choked while eating it and we were now stuck the its body.
Management demanded the thing be pulled out and the vents scrubbed until the stench went which was all so very easily said and so very different in actuality. Firstly we didn't know how big the thing was, how bloated its corpse now was and if decomposing had made it stick to the sides of the vents at that point.
Turns out that was the least of our worries and not our worst mistake. Our worst mistake was assuming it was dead to begin with. Sure we poked it and prodded it but the second somebody's hand touched it the damn thing writhed and twisted and this great lumpy head shot out of the vent like a snake off a catapult.
Took John's head clean off with one unforgettably wet crunch. Stupid thing didn't seem capable of chewing though so it was stuck with its head out, waving and trashing against everything it could. Bruised my arm up a treat in the process but with five of us we had it pinned down enough for the rest of the janitorial team to tie a refuse sack round its neck like a tourniquet until it stopped breathing.
We cut its head off for good measure and, piece by piece, chopped it up into yet more refuse sacks that we dumped behind a neighboring restaurant. Took a good while for the stench to fade but by that point we were all on edge, like we were waiting for it to come back.
We didn't have to wait long - the stench is coming from behind the new air-con unit this time.
From the lobby you could see the very tips of its feet if you crouched and peered underneath the chairs. You can also see the shadow of something much bigger behind it - a nest was our first guess until someone had the great idea of shining a torch down there.
I still don't know what it was but it sure as hell wasn't a nest. I mean,for starters nests don't have teeth and grey gums and lips like shrivelled branches. Our best theory at that point was that some kind of nocturnal creature, maybe an inbred raccoon, had chased a bird into the vents, choked while eating it and we were now stuck the its body.
Management demanded the thing be pulled out and the vents scrubbed until the stench went which was all so very easily said and so very different in actuality. Firstly we didn't know how big the thing was, how bloated its corpse now was and if decomposing had made it stick to the sides of the vents at that point.
Turns out that was the least of our worries and not our worst mistake. Our worst mistake was assuming it was dead to begin with. Sure we poked it and prodded it but the second somebody's hand touched it the damn thing writhed and twisted and this great lumpy head shot out of the vent like a snake off a catapult.
Took John's head clean off with one unforgettably wet crunch. Stupid thing didn't seem capable of chewing though so it was stuck with its head out, waving and trashing against everything it could. Bruised my arm up a treat in the process but with five of us we had it pinned down enough for the rest of the janitorial team to tie a refuse sack round its neck like a tourniquet until it stopped breathing.
We cut its head off for good measure and, piece by piece, chopped it up into yet more refuse sacks that we dumped behind a neighboring restaurant. Took a good while for the stench to fade but by that point we were all on edge, like we were waiting for it to come back.
We didn't have to wait long - the stench is coming from behind the new air-con unit this time.
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