Officially our company's policy is that ghosts don't exist and if they did then we certainly wouldn't exploit their legal status as non-persons and tether their souls to varying appliances to save on hiring any more staff. It's a tad specific and a tad strange that they ever felt the need to include this in their company policy but the company maintains it would never do this at all...
That being said, the printer on floor 5 will only work if you call it "Matt" and say please and thank you before sending anything for it to print. This, of course, has nothing to do with a Matthew Dorbrooke who jumped from the top floor a year or so ago. God rest his soul.
There's also the matter of the "remote intercom system" that leads to the boss's floor but only if you address it as Stacey (no relation to Stacey Saxmere, the former secretary who was hit by a bus just outside of the office and was subsequently replaced by the intercom... God rest her soul).
These can be explained away as technology being quirky, just some coder's idea of a joke or memorial to our dearly departed colleagues. They haven't been able to explain the emails that new staff receive from an employee who died before our current system was even designed.
Still, as long as everything works, the company won't change a thing.
And they certainly aren't harnessing the souls of deceased staff.
That's against policy.
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