Mum always told us to wave and say hello to the old arm pillbox we passed on our way from the farmhouse to school. It was half sunken into the ground and covered with moss in a way that made it look straight from a fairytale. I never really questioned why we waved and said hello, it was just one of mum's little eccentricities.
Years after moved away, years after she and dad died and the farm was left to rot away on unsellable land, years after I'd put all my memories of the place in the back of my mind something reminded me of it all. A patch of moss growing on my windowsill of all things.
And so I went back. Never told anyone - didn't really have anyone to tell or any reason to until now. Now that I've been and barely made it back alive. Now that I understand why mum always waved and said hello and what she was making us greet every single day.
I should have picked a day with better weather but I ended up arriving in between a couple of storms. The rain had gone but the wind was sharp enough to make up for it and the clouds still clustered in the sky. I went to the farmhouse first, trying not to remember it as a place of warm childhood days.
It'd only been fourteen years since I locked the gates and the place had gone to absolute rot. The sheds were crushed and the main house was thoroughly graffitied. If I'd left anything there in my grief-muddled haze it would be long gone by now unlike all the empty bottles and broken furniture which fit the new landscape perfectly.
Not sure how long I spent wandering about my old home but by the time I'd begun to wander along the old school route the sun was starting to set. I should have turned back and gone the next day but I think seeing that monster in daylight would have done me in for good.
It looked like one of those old bearskin rugs from a distance, badly taxidermied and rotting in the mud. I never expected it to turn towards me and speak. It sounded like the words were coming from miles away in a tunnel but also right next to my ear.
"You've grown old, Johnny boy. I still missed you though."
It raised one hand, arm thick as my thigh with bare bone peering through matted fur, and it waved once before retreating back into the pillbox and closing the metal door. I turned around pretty sharpish, glancing back every so often to see its milky-white eyes peering through concrete slits.
Years after moved away, years after she and dad died and the farm was left to rot away on unsellable land, years after I'd put all my memories of the place in the back of my mind something reminded me of it all. A patch of moss growing on my windowsill of all things.
And so I went back. Never told anyone - didn't really have anyone to tell or any reason to until now. Now that I've been and barely made it back alive. Now that I understand why mum always waved and said hello and what she was making us greet every single day.
I should have picked a day with better weather but I ended up arriving in between a couple of storms. The rain had gone but the wind was sharp enough to make up for it and the clouds still clustered in the sky. I went to the farmhouse first, trying not to remember it as a place of warm childhood days.
It'd only been fourteen years since I locked the gates and the place had gone to absolute rot. The sheds were crushed and the main house was thoroughly graffitied. If I'd left anything there in my grief-muddled haze it would be long gone by now unlike all the empty bottles and broken furniture which fit the new landscape perfectly.
Not sure how long I spent wandering about my old home but by the time I'd begun to wander along the old school route the sun was starting to set. I should have turned back and gone the next day but I think seeing that monster in daylight would have done me in for good.
It looked like one of those old bearskin rugs from a distance, badly taxidermied and rotting in the mud. I never expected it to turn towards me and speak. It sounded like the words were coming from miles away in a tunnel but also right next to my ear.
"You've grown old, Johnny boy. I still missed you though."
It raised one hand, arm thick as my thigh with bare bone peering through matted fur, and it waved once before retreating back into the pillbox and closing the metal door. I turned around pretty sharpish, glancing back every so often to see its milky-white eyes peering through concrete slits.
No comments:
Post a Comment